Couples and marriage therapy
Couples and marriage therapy in Laguna Beach.
Pro-commitment couples work from the co-founder of the National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists. For the disconnection, the same recurring fight, the broken trust, and the fresh start before the wedding.
Most couples arrive sitting on opposite sides of the table, and it makes sense: after enough rounds of the same argument, it starts to feel like the other person is the problem to be solved. So the first thing we do is turn both chairs. The work isn't you against your partner. It's the two of you, side by side, finally looking at the pattern between you instead of at each other.
That shift is the whole game. When a relationship is treated as a system you're both part of, rather than a case to be won, something loosens. You stop gathering evidence and start getting curious. Is the goal to be right, or to be close again? Those two goals almost never point the same direction.
Who you'll work with
Kay Wenger, LMFT, LPCC
Founder & Clinical Supervisor
I'm pro-commitment, but I'm not attached to a particular outcome. That isn't a contradiction. It means I take your relationship seriously enough to fight for it with you, and I respect you enough not to force a conclusion. My job is to help you both see it clearly, then do the real work of repair if that's what you choose.
I co-founded the National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists because I got tired of watching couples get quietly nudged toward divorce by therapists who had no stake in the marriage surviving. Thirty years in, and teaching the next generation of therapists at Pepperdine, I still believe most couples have more road left than they can see from where they're standing.
- NRMFT co-founder and CEO
- 30-plus years with couples in crisis and repair
- Pepperdine educator training new therapists
- Pro-commitment never pro-pressure
I take your relationship seriously enough to fight for it, and I respect you enough not to decide the ending for you.
Kay Wenger, LMFT, LPCC
Therapy works best when both people are willing to look at the relationship as a system, not as a courtroom.
What brings couples in
The things we help with most
Different couples, and yet the presenting issues rhyme. If one of these is yours, you are in good and common company.
- You've drifted apart Not a dramatic rupture, just a slow slide into roommates who coordinate logistics and little else. The affection got crowded out by the calendar, and you miss each other while sitting in the same room.
- The same fight, on repeat The topic changes but the choreography never does. You can predict every line before it's said. That pattern has a life of its own, and it's changeable once you can both see it.
- Trust has been broken An affair, a betrayal, a secret that came to light. Rebuilding is real work and it is possible, without turning one of you into the villain and the other into the judge.
- You're not sure you'll make it One of you is leaning out and one is leaning in, and you need clarity before a decision this big. That has its own structured path, and it's an honest place to start.
Before the wedding
Premarital counseling in Orange County
Premarital counseling isn't a sign that something's wrong. It's the opposite: a way to build the skills most couples only pick up years later, the hard way. We offer it in Laguna Beach, across Orange County and Irvine, and by telehealth anywhere in California.
- The conversations worth having first Money, family, faith, sex, children, expectations about whose career bends for whose. The topics that quietly cause the most trouble later are the easiest to talk about now, before anyone's defensive.
- How you fight, not whether you will Every couple argues. The couples who last aren't the ones who never disagree, they're the ones who learned to disagree without scorching the ground. That's a learnable skill, and now is the time to learn it.
- A stronger starting line Research on premarital counseling is genuinely encouraging: couples who do this work before the wedding tend to begin marriage on steadier footing (Stanley and colleagues). It isn't a guarantee, but it's a real head start.
- For every kind of couple Engaged, newly committed, remarrying, blending families, or faith-based couples who want their values woven in. Premarital work meets you wherever your story is starting.
Whether you're searching for premarital counseling near me, marriage counseling in Laguna Beach, or a couples therapist who won't quietly write off your relationship, the first step is the same low-pressure one. Curious whether we're the right fit? That's exactly what the free call is for.
Pathways
Ways in, depending on where you are
When you keep having the same fight
If a recurring argument is the main event, we work on the pattern underneath it, not just the argument itself.
Conflict and communicationWhen trust was broken
Affair recovery is structured, non-blaming work. The relationship is treated as a whole system, never a courtroom.
Infidelity and affair recoveryWhen you're not sure whether to stay
Discernment counseling is short-term clarity for couples on the brink, one leaning out, one leaning in. Pro-commitment, never pro-pressure.
Discernment counselingWhen you want to go deeper, faster
A couples intensive is a focused day with Kay, enough uninterrupted time to do what weekly sessions can't in an hour.
Couples intensivesQuestions people ask
Couples therapy, answered
What is couples counseling, and how can it help my relationship?
It's a chance for you and your partner to work through what's actually going on with someone trained to help you see the pattern, not just referee the argument. What does that actually look like? I'm pro-commitment, but I'm not attached to a particular outcome, and the work goes best when both of you are willing to look at the relationship as a system you're both part of, not a courtroom where one person is on trial. We also offer Discernment Counseling if you're not yet sure whether to work on the relationship or part ways.
Can a relationship actually survive an affair?
Yes, many do. It is hard, and it takes honesty and time from both people, but affairs do not automatically mean the end of a relationship. With the right support, a lot of couples rebuild trust, and some describe their relationship afterward as more honest than it was before. This work is part of our [couples therapy](/therapy/couples), and for couples who want to move faster, a [couples intensive with Kay](/couples-intensive) can help.
Do we have to decide whether to stay together before we start?
No. A lot of couples come in not knowing yet, and that is allowed. The early work is about stabilizing things and understanding how you got here, not forcing a verdict. Some couples rebuild, some decide to part with more clarity and less bitterness. Either way, you don't have to have the answer before you walk in.
Ready to turn the chairs?
You don't need to arrive with it all figured out. A free 15 to 20 minute call is a low-pressure way to talk through what's going on and see whether we're the right fit for you both.
Free and confidential. Be seen within 24 hours.
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